IYKYK (IF YOU KNOW, YOU KNOW.)
I hesitated on if I was going to have this as today’s Mindful Monday, but I chose to do so because this has not only happened to me, and can possibly give awareness to someone reading.
STORY TIME
My daughter, London, who just celebrated her 6th birthday and I went to Whole Foods Market yesterday so that I could buy a premade family dinner. We’d been celebrating all weekend, and I figured a healthy dinner that I didn’t have to cook was a win for everyone.
We chose the salmon, green beans, and sweet potato wedges. As we stood in line at checkout, we had a lively conversation together, and to be honest I was really just staring at my daughter in awe of her beauty, humor, and just the fact that she’s been on this earth for an entire 6 years already!
The woman in front of us was pretty, dirty blonde with a really dope outfit on that I complimented. She was kind, said thank you, and marveled about how cute London is.
When the cashier checked the woman out (her, and of course the groceries), he was kind, pleasant, and extremely helpful to her. Next, it was me and London’s turn. His entire demeanor changed. He did not ask us how our day was. He didn’t ask us if we found everything okay. He just proceeded to scan our one item and tell me it was $29. I paid for it with my card, and he said, “Receipt?” “No thank you.” I replied. He then proceeded to scan the man behind me’s item. The family meal tray I purchased was a little heavy, and considering London was with me and she had her backpack and me my purse, I asked him for a bag. He sighed heavily as if I was bothering him, and gave me a bag. As I turned to leave with my daughter, I hear him speaking with the man who was behind us in line. “Did you find everything okay? Would you like a bag?” Keep in mind, this man had a Yogurt. One. Yogurt.
Some may say I took it too far by categorizing this experience as blatant racism. Others may argue that I’m over analyzing the situation, and maybe he just didn’t think I needed a bag. Some may even be reading this, and wonder what I’m even talking about. . . if there’s even a problem at all. That just maybe even when he got to me and my daughter he just didn’t feel like he needed to ask for whatever reason.
The point is, I looked at my daughter, and all I could wonder is if she felt that too. I asked her if she was okay, and she replied “I’m okay, Mamaaaa.” She calls me this when she knows I’m bothered with something that may be too big for her to understand, and she wants me to know she’s actually okay.
On the drive home, I called the corporate office. It was important for me not to cause a scene in front of my daughter, but for her to know that I was addressing the issue. They’ve promised to “look into it,” and apologized for my experience. What more can I ask for?
As for the mindful aspect of this story, whether we want to admit it or not, we all have a belief system engrained inside of us that causes us to treat others a certain way. Whether it’s religion, gender, race, you name it, there is something instilled inside of us where even though we aren’t intentionally being outright racist/sexist etc, our actions and behavior may say something differently. No, we aren’t going to please everyone. Yes, we do also live in a society where everyone seems to be offended by everything. However, that does not change that it is our responsibility to treat others first as human beings, because ultimately that is the one thing that we all have in common.
I don’t know who may need to hear this today, but, YOU BELONG. Take up space. Be kind to yourself, and be kind to others. Our choices either connect us or disconnect us. It’s our choice.
Be Good to Y O U. Whatever that may look like/feel like.
With Love,
Mama Shye
